Forgiven, but still in a cast

Week nine of The Making of a Leader picks up after Nathan confronts David. Pastor Max Lyons tells of racing a mouthy teammate during college baseball sprints in a gym. He wins by half a body length, lunges across the line and has no room left before a concrete wall. He catches himself with his hands and fractures a bone in his wrist. He regrets it, repents of it, apologizes to the whole team and is forgiven. None of that changes the cast he wears for the next ten weeks or the season he misses. You can be forgiven by God and still have consequences.

What you don't deal with grows

David hears the sentence: the sword will never depart from his house (2 Samuel 12:10–13). He repents, Nathan tells him the Lord has taken away his sin, and the consequences come anyway. Pastor Max wishes David had dealt with his sin when it was small, by turning away on the rooftop or sending Bathsheba home before anything happened. What you don't deal with today can destroy you tomorrow. The title of the message is You Gotta Deal With It, and across nine chapters he names four decisions that will shape a leader's future for better or for worse.

Don't ignore what needs to be confronted

Amnon disgraces his half-sister Tamar, and King David is furious (2 Samuel 13:21), but nothing is recorded about him addressing it. Absalom kills Amnon and flees, David mourns and longs for him, and when Absalom returns, David refuses to see his face for two years (2 Samuel 14:24, 28). Ignoring problems doesn't make them go away. Pastor Max compares it to the calluses he gets from pull-ups: small ones can be shaved down easily, but left to grow they tear. What you ignore today, you will fight tomorrow, whether it is an avoided conversation or a pattern you hope will fade.

Do not use God's kingdom to build your kingdom

Absalom provides himself a chariot, horses and fifty men to run ahead of him, then waits at the city gate telling people that if only he were judge, they would get justice (2 Samuel 15:1–4). He uses what God has established to advance himself. Healthy leaders love and serve God and people; unhealthy leaders try to get God and people to serve what they want. Pastor Max warns against a consumer faith that molds Jesus into a Santa Claus. A leaf blower makes a poor rake, and faith used for the wrong purpose doesn't work either. Following Jesus means a life laid down for His purposes (Galatians 2:20).

Do not let yesterday's wounds become tomorrow's weapons

What happened to Tamar wounded Absalom, and he let it grow into hatred. Years later he does to ten of his father's concubines what was done to his sister (2 Samuel 16:21–22), and they live out their days as desolate widows, just as she did (2 Samuel 20:3). What is happening on the inside will eventually come out on the outside. Pastor Max admits to a stressful evening of cooking, bathing the kids and thinking about church, when Pastor Juliet simply says his name and he snaps back, only to learn a friend was on speakerphone asking for prayer. Hurt that is not dealt with turns into bitterness that wounds the people we love.

Trust God when everything falls apart

When Absalom marches on Jerusalem, David flees across the Kidron Valley and tells Zadok to take the ark back into the city. If God brings him back, so be it; if not, he is ready (2 Samuel 15:25–26). David trusted God for years to give him the throne, and now he learns to trust God while losing it. Pastor Max recalls six months of zero sales at a software startup, until he stopped trying to carry the outcome and handed it to God. Over the next six months the company doubled in size. Stay faithful with your part, without abdicating responsibility, and hand the rest to God.

Deal with it while it's small

Absalom's rebellion fails, and David mourns, "O my son Absalom, if only I had died instead of you" (2 Samuel 18:33). David didn't address what he needed to address, and Absalom tried to control what he should have handed over to God. Some in the room have something to address, a conversation, a sinful pattern or a hurt, and if it is not dealt with while it is small, it will not go away. Others have been trying to make everything happen in their own strength. Pastor Max closes by asking the church to stand and pray for both groups, urging them to be faithful but to hand it over to God, and not to carry a weight they were never intended to carry.